It's a Go!!! IVF #2 has officially started!

We started Lupron yesterday.  So far, so good!  I'm not a crazy lady yet!  LOL No hot flashes as of yet. Lupron is meant to shut down your whole cycle similar to that of menopause.  But since they are only giving me a microdose it really shouldn't come with too many side affects of menopause such as hot flashes and mood swings. LOL

For those who are curious as to how I give myself the shots of Lupron this is how it goes:
I have a little vial of the liquid Lupron that has this rubber stopper on the top.  I take a diabetic syringe (which has a very skinny and short needle attached to the end of it) and I draw air back into the syringe until the number 10.  Then I insert it into the rubber stopper on the vial and let the air out into the vial.  Then I turn the vial upside down and draw out the medicine to the 10.  Then I use an alcohol swab to clean the area on my stomach, I pinch up an area of fat on my stomach, and then I stick the needle in and push the plunger. It's not bad at all.  After my last IVF, I'm now a pro!  LOL   The needle itself doesn't hurt when you insert it, but after injecting the medicine it starts to itch at the injection site. They say it's typical.  So it's itchy and red for about 5 minutes afterwards at the injection site and then everything is just fine.

I also started a low dose steroid yesterday which I will continue through my IVF cycle. This is suppose to keep the inflammation down and hopefully help keep me from hyperstimming again (linked to the blog from last time).  I really don't want to have 2 1/2 liters of fluid drained from my abdomen again!  That was terrible.  But this doctor is going to go really slow so that I don't over respond to the meds and make too many eggs. So it will be a longer and slower egg growing process than last time.  It's great to have lots of eggs, but when they go to retrieve them something has to fill up that space of what was once there. So fluid begins to fill the space and sometimes so much that is drains out of your ovaries and into your abdomen pooling around your organs and lungs. Which is what happened last time, and comes with some really scary and life threatening complications such as blood clots, difficulty breathing, etc. I thankfully did not get the blood clots last time!  But...I'm not going to worry about that...because we won't have that happening again this time, RIGHT!  ;-)

I hadn't been sick for over a year and then at the beginning of this month I got a viral throat infection, and now I'm sick AGAIN.  I think I have bronchitis, in fact I just know.  I was around some pecan trees the other day and I know it set my allergies and asthma off.  There is one thing is this world that I am OFF the charts allergic too and that's pecan trees. It's funny because I'm not allergic to pecans themselves, I can eat those just fine, it's the pollen from the trees that gets me. Growing up we had 5 pecan trees. It was horrible.  My poor parents, I feel so sorry for them, they didn't know until way later that the trees were what was causing it, but by the time I was 7 years old,  I had had bronchitis 13 TIMES and pneumonia TWICE. If my Mom hadn't been a nurse I would have been hospitalized at least a few times.   I was a sickly kid. Then they found out what was causing it all and I had to stay on asthma meds for a really long time.  So then I only got bronchitis like once a year.  As an adult it has gotten a lot better, but I have tried my best to keep myself away from pecan trees, that is until we went walking the other day!  LOL  It's a good thing I still have the antibiotics left from a couple weeks back when I was sick, but didn't need them because it was viral and not bacterial infection.  Saves us the $$ and time of having to go to the doctor.

Please cross your fingers and pray this will be the last of me getting sick. I can't be getting sick for any of the other stages of this IVF process or I am sunk!  Which would mean they would have to cancel the cycle because once I start the egg growing meds I can't be taking anything else.

Other than that, we are doing really good!  We found a house to rent. I will post about it tomorrow and put up some pics.  It's super cute.

Well I guess that's about it for me. Thank you all for following our blog and the prayers and support that have come with it!  I have a good feeling that we will be getting to make an announcement super soon!  The doctor says we have a 60% chance of getting pregnant this time. So the odds are definitely in our favor!  And we also have a wonderful group of  friends and family cheering us on!

Take care everyone!

S & G

Operation Drug Drop--A week until Go time

Today the FedEx guy arrived with all my drugs for this IVF cycle. I felt  like a kid who had gotten a Christmas package as I unpacked everything and put the drugs that needed to be refrigerated away.  I have been very blessed when it has come to the cost of drugs.  With my last IVF cycle, I had different insurance and some how they ended up covering my Gonal-f (which makes my eggs grow). It is VERY expensive medicine and costs close to $1,000 a pen, which typically you need at least 3 pens for a cycle.  While I had that insurance coverage, I had the doctor order me extra pens. So I have 3 left over Gonal-f pens from the last IVF!  Woo hoo!!  So that left me only having to buy the cheaper drugs this time. So today I got EVERYTHING else I will need for the rest of my IVF cycle, and it just cost us $350.  So definitely not bad at all considering drugs usually cost you $3,000 or more for just one IVF cycle!  I'm crossing my fingers these three pens will be enough, or else we will be out another $500-$1000 depending on how much Gonal-f I would need. But we will cross that bridge when we get there, and sometimes the clinic has donated meds that they can give to their patients if they just need a little bit.

So a week from today, May 18, is our official start day. It's then that I will add to the birth control, Lupron, which will suppress all my hormones and keep me from ovulating the eggs too early and then a steroid that will help to keep me from hyperstimulating.(crossing fingers) and having too much inflammation.  I will stay on the Lupron and steroid the longest. Then on May 23, I will stop the birth control pills and  May 30 I will start the meds that will cause my eggs to grow.

Everyday it's starting to feel more and more real. It's sinking in and I'm having thoughts and feelings of....OMG.. this is really going to happen..wow...this is awesome... we are really going to do this AGAIN!  We are going to get to try for a baby again!!! It's finally here after almost nine months of waiting...shoot, if our last IVF had worked, I would be delivering next month on the 6th!! It's crazy to even think about that! The time has finally come to try again. Hell...there is a very good chance I could be pregnant at the end of next month!!  OMG!!!!

But then I've also been experiencing a very different kind of feeling....the kind you get when are jerked to a stop at the very top of a roller coaster...when you are at the highest point... looking down...suspended in mid-air.... just waiting for the cart to drop...and your heart starts pounding... and your stomach in up in your chest...and your brain is screaming...oh, shit, do we really want to do this?!?!...but at that point it's too late....you're already committed...there's no turning back...stuck...so you just give in...you go with it and you enjoy the ride!

Ah... Enjoy the Ride...that's what I'm going to really try my best to do. To go with it..give in completely.... not question the what if's...or how will I ever recover if this fails again...and just enjoy the thrill of the ride...the ups...the downs..the turns..the unexpected loops...and of course I can't forget the screaming like a little girl through the entire ride.  LOL

Speaking of screaming....as I mentioned earlier I am on birth control, yes I know very ironic considering I am trying to get pregnant, and Glen is just loving the mood swings, NOT!!  LOL  Poor thing. He has been so sweet, but OMG these birth control pills have been making me bitchy.  I'm not a bitch all the time thank goodness, but boy it's like these streaks of nastiness just hit me.... I'm fine one minute and then the next... I'm REALLY pissed off for no good reason.  Normal Staci takes some real warming up and then simmering before she fires off, at least I'd like to think, he he, but with these birth control pills there IS NO simmering phase, it's just fine and then claws are out and RAARRRR!!  Really glad my hubby loves me!!

Ok...I know you will all find this funny... but I have been having this crazy panicked feeling that I should be packing. LOL  But ever since Turkey, I've associate traveling with IVF. LMAO Unfortunately, there will be no trip included in this IVF cycle.  It will take place entirely here in Dallas. :-(  Hopefully I will be able to find enough distractions around the area to keep my mind off of things. I should start planning things now.  Do y'all have any suggestions?  Trying the new In-N-Out is on the list!  Yep, you out in Cali read right!  They have arrived in Texas!!  Now Texas has it ALL!!  Woo-ha-ha-ha!  (that was suppose to be one of those evil dastardly laughs)

Actually....there will be some packing during this IVF...just not for a trip. We will be moving into a house.  We have been looking into houses to rent. Hopefully we will find the perfect one soon. I know the timing isn't the best, but doesn't that seem like when all the non-fertility challenged couples always get pregnant. When their lives are all crazy busy, stressful, and strapped for cash. Hey that sounds kind of like us right now!  ;-)  LOL

Well I guess that's about it for me...Glen just asked...aren't you finished with that yet? I thought you posted that over an hour ago!  LOL  I told him perfection takes time. ;-)

I hope you all are doing well!  Thank you again for all your support and comments!

On Pins and Needles

First off...I want to say thank you to everyone for their super sweet and supportive comments on my last blog!  I have the best family and friends EVER!

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog...LOL...

Two weeks ago I began acupuncture.  Right after the first session, I got really sick with a viral throat infection!  So not cool, considering I thought this stuff was suppose to make you HEALTHIER and not sicker...and secondly I hadn't been sick in OVER a year, until I had acupuncture. LOL Geez!  She told me it was just a coincidence.  We shall see....

So I went again on Friday and this time I didn't get sick and it was a better experience, but I still just don't know what I think about it all.  I'm not real crazy about this lady even though she is very trained in Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture as well as Western Medicine. But she just doesn't give me the warm and fuzzies and that is something I need if I am going to her for relaxation and re-balancing of my system. I don't need anxiety about going when the whole point is to relax.  So this Chinese acupuncture lady doesn't say a whole when I go other than did you follow the diet... which by the way is very strange... most of the stuff on it you can't get at the grocery store or it isn't a part of the normal diet of an American. Granted I know I don't always eat the best, but on this chart she gave me for the foods you can have breast milk is listed! Yes, you read right!!  Say what?  I think it was there as reference to show that we as humans need a more alkaline diet and as we know breast milk is the most nutritious of all foods, so if it is alkaline then we should be eating that way.... but it just REALLY grossed and creeped me out.  I since ditched that diet and have just tried to stick to healthy organic food.  People have been getting pregnant since the beginning of time eating all kinds of crap, so I think I will be fine if I just put good nutritious food into my body.

So... I'm think I am going to look into possibly seeing someone else.  I don't want to give up on acupuncture just yet because I know there are proven studies that show it really helps IVF success rates.  Most of these studies that have been done are more about using acupuncture right before and right after the embryo transfer. It's suppose to help blood flow to the uterus and help calm the uterus and not have it contract during the transfer.  So I want to make for sure I do everything I can to make this IVF a success, but I just don't see this lady being part of the equation.  So I'm off to find another acupuncturist....I'm going to check out one a friend uses that is American, super friendly, and charges less!  Sounds like a win/win already....

Lots to be thankful for....

Even though the sperm issue was not as we had hoped it would be... we still feel very blessed and feel we have a lot to be thankful for. We know our situation could be a WHOLE lot worse.  If the extra cost and the logistics of getting the sperm is the worst of our problems, I feel we should still be very thankful.  So these are things we are thankful for and why...

• Lots of eggs--The blood work for my egg reserve came back and my numbers came back better than for someone of my age.  I know some of you are like well..duh...Staci...you are only 32.  But you would be SO surprised.  I personally know women younger than me who do not have any eggs left and are going into pre-mature ovarian failure which means they will be going into menopause within the next year and they are only 30 or less!  My heartbreaks for these women, but I'm so glad there is still the option of donor eggs for them so they can still get pregnant and carry a baby.  But it's just so not right or fair for it to happen so early and their chance of their own biological child be striped from them so soon!  We should all at least be given to the age of 40 to try for a baby with our own eggs!  

• Healthy eggs--from our last IVF they feel I have eggs of good quality which is the most important.  You can have a lot of eggs, but if none of them are good you are sunk! :-(

• We have sperm---it's just a matter of getting it. I feel for couples who do not have sperm at all, and at that point they are having to look into sperm donors and so forth. I know that has to be so hard for both parties. We know Glen has sperm and we know from the past that they do know what to do. ;-)  So now... it's just obtaining some good ones from him and then  injecting them into my eggs and getting them to grow into beautiful little embryos and then babies.

• I'm not a carrier of cystic fibrosis.  My blood work came back negative. So I don't have to worry about possibly passing along that disease to my children.  I feel very thankful about that!

• My uterus looks perfect--so my incubator should be able to grow a baby without any problems!

• We have a doctor and nurse--- who we feel very comfortable with and that we feel are doing everything they possibly can to make this dream a reality for both of us.

• We have the technology that we do today to by-pass these issues and create miracle babies!

• For the most part we have the financial means to pay for these procedures.  Granted we will accrue some debt no doubt, but for the most part we can make it work by making sacrifices.

• And the most important blessing of all... is the love that we have for each other!  We know that with this love we can make it through anything. We will always be there for each other and have each other until the very end.  And that blessing is pretty damn hard to top!!